WTF???

Ever since my return from Israel I find that I am unable to look at, or to listen to 'he who shall not be named.' (HWSNBN) I couldn't look or listen to him before his so-called election either. I cannot listen to the news in the morning. Over my coffee I cursorily look at the headlines, grimace, and shake my head in disbelief. It is like everyone is projecting a fictionalised horror set in a shadowy now. I listen to classical music, I go to the movies - a lot. I read - a lot. Currently I am really enjoying Ann Patchett's excellent book, "The Patron Saint of Liars." I finished "I'm Your Man" - the life of Leonard Cohan, and "Everything I Never Told You" by Celeste Ng. But this isn't a plug for reading, or for books, and I am not receiving any money for these recommendations. This is my evening rant. I knew that the other awful man known as "Bibi" was coming to Washington today, so I broke with my policy of neither looking at nor listening to. any so-called leader. I looked at the so-called speech given by HWSNBN with Bibi on the podium next to him, facing a room of reporters. What speech did HWSNBN make - a speech? My goodness - not one coherent thought or statement. This is like the"Ministry of Silly Speaks." I wonder if he really knows what country he is speaking about, or to whom he is speaking. And when an Israeli reporter asked about the rise of anti-semitism in America, he evaded or ignored the reasonable question and uttered some junk about love?????? WTF??? Nonsensical gibberish with Bibi alternately smirking or looking crestfallen next to him. God help us all. Or, other than God, we need to help ourselves, and the first thing to do is to NOT listen to all the junk we are inundated with. We have to look for facts, for history, and to sift through the mounds of poisonous junk. Ughhhhhhhh

The Day After

Today is the day after the inauguration of Donald Trump. Just typing the name feels like a farce. But it happened, and I didn't even put the word President in front of his name, because I simply am unable to do that. Today is the day of the Womens' Marches across the country, and the world, it turns out. I had registered to join the Oakland March while I was still in Israel, but unfortunately I returned a week ago, on Friday 13th to be exact, not well. My voice is hovering somewhere over the middle east, accompanied by a relentless cough and generalized weakness. That is my excuse for not being on the march, but I am watching the coverage, and it is very inspiring. Yesterday I did not watch anything, I listened to classical music all day. On my forays in to the world outside my apartment I was struck by the funereal like atmosphere. Perhaps it is because of my visit to Israel, where the people have suffered for at least 12 years under the regime of Bibi Netanyahu, or because of my deep spiritual beliefs, but I have surprised myself by refusing to give in to despair. Yesterday the world did not end and the sun did not turn into blood. In Israel I see that life continues, and people continue to fight the good fight. Nothing is static, things do change. Definitely at this time the world that we know is turning to the right. I think these manifestations are the last gasps of those that are petrified that the world is changing. White people, especially white men, are no longer the majority. People are speaking up for their rights, and also increasingly defending the rape and pillaging of the earth. We are in the midst of massive transitions, and any time before a major change is a time filled with anxiety, uncertainty, fear of the unknown, until the new form is given life. Even then, it is not easy, as we take our first faltering steps, falling down, getting back up, looking back. I also don't feel that mankind is coming into a golden age, but it will be an age of expanded consciousness that allows for more differences to manifest. It is up to us not to give into complacence or despair. While in Israel I carried out a small experiment. In general, people in Israel do not acknowledge the presence of others, there is a general feeling of indifference and lack of compassion. It is exhibited on the roads, by reckless driving. In parking lots no one considers other vehicles, which are jammed in or crashed into. Late on a Thursday afternoon I had to get a bus for Netanya at the Arlozoroff Station in Tel Aviv. It is the time when the soldiers and everyone else are trying to get home for the weekend. The trains were closed for repairs so we had to take buses. To me it was petrifying standing quite helpless in a pushing, surging crowd. A few crammed buses went by before eventually I was borne onto one. My experiment was to acknowledge people on the street, as well as in grocery lines or cafes. I was pleasantly surprised to find that people smiled or nodded back. A flicker of humanity and fellowship. While trying to board the bus I was pushed up against a female soldier of Ethiopian origin. I looked at her and mouthed, "sorry, this is petrifying" and she smiled back and said 'yes, petrifying.' We both eventually made it to Netanya. On another occasion I sat with a friend at a pavement cafe in Tel Aviv. I saw a blonde woman dressed in shorts despite the cold weather, stagger up the street. She was completely dishevelled. Her eyes were bloodshot, her face puffy, a strong smell of alcohol surrounded her. She sat next to us and leaned over to ask us for a shekel. Two young waiters, a man and a woman, came toward her. They spoke gently and kindly, explaining that if she wanted a cup of tea, they would give her one, and asked her not to disturb the customers. Her voice rose as she slurred back at them, swearing. They both continued to speak to her gently, and the waitress left and returned with a cup of tea, but the woman stood up and staggered away. I was pleasantly surprised by their restrained approach. Small things, maybe, but nevertheless, a light shining through.

Foreshadowings

I look back at my posts after the Iowa Caucus and read what I wrote about the then forthcoming elections. In one entry I was really wrong. I declared that Trump will NOT be President of America. And now he is President Elect. Obviously I saw this horror unfolding and equally obviously, I denied it would happen. I grew up in Apartheid South Africa. I was born into Apartheid and raised under the Nationalist Government. My parents belonged to the Liberal Party, which was later banned. They raised us to understand that we were living under an unjust amoral regime. As oppressive policies worsened we lived in a world of fear, mistrust, and hatred of the 'other.' Even as white people, because of my parents' affiliations, our phone was tapped. We were under strict instructions to not discuss politics over the phone. Our mail was censored. We removed banned books from our house. Our school teachers were only allowed to teach us according to the government's curriculum. It was hard to trust anyone when we knew there were spies and informants. This was the way things were. We knew no other way, but also, in my home at least, we knew it was wrong. Eventually, for all of these reasons, I left South Africa. When Trump first appeared on the political scene many of the people I knew found him amusing. I never did. Everything about him, from the things he said, to his bearing, to his rallies, filled me with foreboding. I remember last year speaking to American friends about my fears. Even though they were horrified by what he was representing, they could not understand my fear. Now I understand why. They had no frame of reference. The same night we had a discussion, I watched Comedy Central with Trevor Noah. He likened Trump to African dictators, from Idi Amin to Mugabe to Gadaffi. He understood what was happening because he grew up in South Africa. And now - it looks like history is repeating itself. Headlines speak about dangers of surveillance along with all the other things we learn everyday, from the people he is appointing to the corruption of his private business. I really fear that he will amass more and more money at the expense of the people. Those who support him may be the ones who suffer most. He even wants to ban Saturday Night Live, and angrily 'reprimanded the cast of Hamilton for addressing concerns to Mike Pence. This is the beginning of the erosion of freedom of speech. The unreasonable fear of immigrants and illegals. There are in fact people here illegally from Canada, Ireland, Europe, but they are not the ones feared. No, it is people of color of course, and Moslims. Anyone different from white people. I think that we must all keep open minds and open hearts, and be vigilant in understanding what can happen to us under the corrosive stream of vindictiveness, blame, and threats. We have dto fiercely defend the freedoms of America.

Out there?

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OMG

The day after. I wake up and first thing on my mind is 'is this really happening. Did I dream this? I am experiencing this horror on a visceral level, I feel shaky, sick to my stomach, plus there is deja-vu - South Africa, the Nationalist Party getting stronger and stronger. Israel, The Likud getting voted in. Now America - a time of reckoning. A foreshadowing of things to come - I cannot listen to that man, and the thought of him and that silicone-filled Barbie doll with the cruel eyes inhabiting the white house. NO - replacing the refined, articulate, elegant, gracious, intelligent, beautiful Obamas No,no,no,no It IS happening. Today is day 2 after the election. Facebook is full of posts about the need to love, accept, forgive. For heavens sake people, be real. There is a time for everything, a time to grieve, a time to wait. Ecclesiastes. Let us allow ourselves time to absorb what has happened, and what is happening. We need time to absorb, to remain centred, to heal, and later to move forward. We need to be gentle to ourselves as well as to all those around us. We are all in pain.

Alarming

It is deeply upsetting to see the newspaper headlines and watch the news on TV. So much so that I have stopped reading or listening to anything at all about the abhorrent political campaign, if one can call it that. I remember when I worked in home health almost all the families I visited in the afternoon seemed to spend their days watching either Jerry Springer, or Maury Povitch ('who is the baby daddy?") or Dr. Phil, and judge shows, or equally awful spanish versions of reality TV and judge shows. I was just apalled to see the sick people I was working with intently watching other supposed humans pulling each others' hair, pummeling each other, screaming epithets. They seemed to be amused by all of this, and I thought to myself, just how low can everything go? Now we see it with our politicians and supposed role models, sinking lower each moment. Not to mention all the other horrors going on. So the other day I was driving somewhere and was listening to NPR, when I heard the most alarming piece of news. Global warming is causing a world wide coffee shortage!!!!! OMG, I think I can survive anything, but a coffee shortage!?! There followed long depressing interviews with Brazilian coffee farmers who are failing to produce any coffee because of the ongoing drought. My alarmed mind then hopped on to Africa where there is a drought, and wars. Likewise with Yemen. What does one do? Stockpile coffee? This, as I have said, is just too awful a vision of the future to even contemplate. Help .....

Yom Kipur - (another)

I have two dates that I will never ever forget. The date of Yom Kipur changes every year according to the Hebrew Calendar. The Yom Kipur War started at 2o'clock on a warm Saturday in Israel. That year the date was October 6 1973. That is the date that my life and my world changed. This year I awoke on 6th October. The sun came out like every other day. For everyone it was another day - to awake, perform morning rituals; listen to the news, drink coffee, exercise, meditate, whatever one does every morning. But I know that for me, and for everyone of a certain age in Israel, and the Middle East, it is a day that stands out crystal clear in our memories, and always will. I continued my day as I always do, but inside my head, like a tape on constant reply, I saw the events of that day. I remember the moment David Solomon came up to a group of us at the pool and said, "there is a war, turn on your radios." That was the day my husband, Raymond (Rafi) Lowenberg was killed by shrapnel from a missile fired by the Egyptian army at his bunker, Budapest, on the supposedly impregnable Bar Lev line. Usually I am in Israel at this time, but this year I am not, and so I was thinking how strange it is that for everyone here, this is just another day. But then I received a Whats App from a dear dear Israeli friend asking how today is for me. Later I came home to a message from another friend from Israel. Both of them are not presently in Israel, but for them too, this day is unique. For all of us who lived through those times, we are united by filaments of shared experiences and memories, and we shall always be, until we, too, pass from this earth.