Bye 2020

 Farewell to the dying embers of 2020.

and to all - a gentler 2021

         Do not go gentle into that good night.

        Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

      

        The words of Dylan Thomas come to mind today as I walk through the     cemetery with its unimpeded views and socially distanced, unobtrusive     inhabitants.  The very old, the very young , the soldiers, the everyday     citizens - mothers, fathers, grandparents, great grandparents. The Asians, the Christians, the Muslims, the Jews, those without denominations but whose names reveal their ethnicities if not their religions.

         I see people sitting in the grass visiting . Others stroll through the gentle rolling hills, masked.  We wave or otherwise acknowledge our mutual, still living presence.

        Almost all the trees have either shed their leaves or no longer display their vibrant autumn yellows, reds, russets, burnt sienna. Winter is here, even though I am perspiring.

        Tomorrow is the solstice.  And according to astronomers and astrologers there is a profound Jupiter-Saturn great conjunction that has not been seen for 800 years.  Apparently we are  moving from the age of Pisces into the age of Aquarius.  I am certainly no expert in any of these fields, but it is obvious we are in a profound time of death and rebirth.  Nature tells us all we have to know, but so does the entire state of our planet.  Old forms are dying, old ways struggle mightily and forcefully to continue.  And nothing and noone, it seems, is going gently into that good night.

    Our orange haired monster together with his Dracula counsel are certainly neither modelling grace nor dignity.

     The virus that changed our world at the beginning of the year seems to be getting worse all over our planet. It has the better of us.

    On top of it all, the air quality here in the East Bay is not good. 

    Still, I enjoyed my walk. Still I am in close touch with family and friends.

    Still the sun rises and sets.

    Still I enjoy spectacular sunsets every single evening.

Some Things

 Since the spider incident I have not posted.  I will attempt to post a few paintings I have done this year.

sunset over Mt. Tam - pastels

pastel of a friend's garden

Jess' garden in Cornwall, oil 

Oil of sunset over Mt. Tam - during fires

oil.  Hibiscus in my garden

watercolour  Sunset

oil - kitchen in Saxonwold

Many more pastels and watercolours of sunsets - just haven't posted them all.

This is what has sustained me during these covid times.

Yet Another Dreadful Incident

 And this one - two days before Thanksgiving.  I suppose this is in keeping with the general theme of this year.

The night before last  I opened my fridge for some inspiration.  I forgot I had purchased a bottle of organic vegetable mix.  Ahah - what a good idea I thought - a bloody Mary before dinner.  I haven't had one in years.  I poured some vodka into a glass and opened the bottle of organic vegetable mix, pleased with the healthy sounding ingredients.  I poured it into my glass and saw a kind of lump - small and dark, that plopped together with the juice into the glass.  Hmm, I thought - the juice is smooth and uniform - better check this out, maybe it is like an organic parsley leaf or some other of the many vegetables.  I used a spoon to take it out and - absolute horror of horrors - it looked like an insect - a spider or something.  OMG - this is unbelievable (back to my favorite overused word).  I put it into a small ziploc bag closing my eyes and poured out the juice, and sadly, the vodka.  Any desire for a bloody mary had dissipated swiftly. I placed the bottle and the creature into a bag which I would take back to Trader Joe's the next day.  

After standing in line I marched to customer service and placed the offensive items on the counter. When a smiling woman came to help she looked at the bottle and said, 'that's not ours.'  Then she looked at the critter and shuddered - 'that's a spider.'  

Oh my, apparently in the fog of everything I forgot where I bought it.  I apologised and went back to my car.  Ahh, I remembered, Luckys/Albertsons/Luckys. Must have bought it there.  Off to Luckys and along to customer service.  I took out the bottle and the offensive critter. The masked woman took one look, then looked away and said - 'do you want to replace the bottle?"

"No, I don't. I am scared." She gave me a refund and I asked whether I should leave the critter there so she could show it to whomever it needed to be shown.  She averted her gaze and said "take it away. Take a photo and send it to the makers of the juice. '  She gave me a number for customer support.

When I reached home I realised I had suppressed the name of the makers - it was irretrievable in my fog.This is my last mention of this most unfortunate occurrence.  I may never buy organic anything again.

Whatever

 I really don't know what title to give to this post.  I believe somewhere along the line during this year of 2020 I may have mentioned that I basically have a two word vocabulary - unbelievable and horrendous.

The other day while walking around the Marina with a friend we discussed the latest horror shows since the election.  The orange monster's refusal to concede, his Dracula-like lawyer making ridiculous claims, the populace who actually believe this nonsense.  She said it is 'unbelievable' and I responded saying that was my word of choice - sadly, no more.  I find it horrifyingly believable.  What for me is more unbelievable is that Biden did actually win, in other words, a few million more than the 70 + million who voted for the monster did vote for the voice of sanity and democracy.  Unbelievable that many people do wear masks and don't think Covid 19 is a hoax.  Unbelievable is the fact that there really are those who take precautions, who care about the people around them.  

All the other horrors that beset our every waking moment are now believable.

This is how democracy dwindles and vanishes.  Please, let us not allow it to happen.

Phew

 I can breathe again.  We all can breathe again.

Phew, phew, phew

It Is Not Over

 We all know to what I refer.  The election results are not over, and won't be over until they are over.  And, sadly, if anyone is surprised about this then they have been existing in a state of denial.

First and foremost.  I always said that the election of the orange haired monster did NOT come out of the blue (pardon the use of the word blue here), and that he is not an anomaly.  Sadly he is a projection of much of America and the shadow side of many americans.  We do not like to face this.  

Here in p.c. Berkeley we are NOT racist, we are NOT capitalist pigs, we are NOT right wing bigots.  We care deeply about everyone and everything.  So much so that if anyone arrives to speak for, or about, the 'other' side, we will violently kick them out.  We post our Black Lives Matter posters proudly in our mostly white areas.  We refer to the Latinx as a monolithic non gendered whole and assume they are all politically to the left of centre and cannot understand why they would be any different from our righteous point of views.  We do NOT have a sense of humour and take deep offence at any truly innocent remarks  or observations.  I have found it quite difficult living in this dry, humourless, and self righteous environment. 

And what is more, I have felt like this ever since arriving here - 40 years ago!!!!!  And yet,  here I am ....And of course I have found many friends and people here that I love dearly.  It is a place in which I feel at home. 

 I remember my initial shock and disbelief when I first began working in East Contra Costa County.  I described my impressions in my book "Tree Barking."  But after working in these communities I certainly began to experience another side of America.  And racism, fear, mistrust, and bigotry exist in every community, no matter the religion or the colour, of the people who live in them.  

We are as not as highly evolved as we would like to think, and our primary reactions are based on fear and mistrust.

My diatribe is over.  What I want to say is that, if and when Biden gets the requisite electoral college and is sworn in, there won't be a sweeping miraculous change.  True change will take a lot of work on behalf of all of us.  We like to engage in magical thinking 

"When Biden is elected ......  miracles will happen.  Fear and hatred will vanish"

 "When there is a vaccine ..... miracles will happen, covid will be gone. Life will go back to normal

Sorry, everyone, magic does not happen.  Change does, and will happen, but not in an instant.