Cockroach and Evolution

I do not like cockroaches. I have never liked cockroaches. I am not sure whether anyone has ever favoured these creatures of the night, but I am scared of them. I scream when I see one - I can't really kill them, but if I do by accident step on one the sight of brownish yellow blood revolts me. I read somewhere that if there is a nuclear war they will be the only things that survive. Good luck to the next incarnation that encounters them. 

I visited a friend in Texas, where everything really is way bigger than anywhere else. We were enjoying a quiet night in her comfortable living room in Fort Worth when a massive cockroach scurried too close for comfort. I screamed. Somehow, exhibiting a feat of extreme bravery, she got rid of this massive revolting thing.  It took more than a few margaritas to calm me down. A few days later we were in a Texan sized shoe store trying on Texas style boots. The tooled rhinestoned boots were way beyond my budget, and I wasn't sure how they would go down in Berkeley. What looks wonderful in  Texas should stay in Texas.  But I did try on a relatively modest pair of black leather boots - lovely they were. My friend would say, rudely, that I preened in front of the large mirror, looking at them.  I did not preen, but I did try them on and took some steps in them.  The saleslady was very helpful in her incomprehensible Texan brogue- "kin ah hip you," and so on. I asked her the price of the boots, and just as she began to tell me I saw a giant cockroach very close by, on its back.  As she said the price I gasped and shrieked "Oh My God," I shook and quivered. She said in a sotto voice, "they aren't that expensive," but I quivered and pointed at the giant roach on its back, its legs moving, and left the shop. Just a waterbug, she said, as I rushed out.  It is a fucking cockroach, it is NOT a waterbug.

Cut to Israel, February 2024.  Before October 7th I had joined a group called "Bereaved Families, Israeli and Palestinian."  Last week we had a zoom meeting to meet some of the most recent participants. I sat listening to the heart rending stories of everyone, but especially the most recent participants, all of whom had lost children or parents on October 7th.  I was riveted, looking at the screen and listening, when something made me turn around.  Next to my sofa, on its back, was a large brown cockroach.  It took every ounce of willpower not to scream - me screaming would have been the worst thing that could happen in this group of people who had gone through possibly the most traumatic events one can endure. My heart beat faster, I stifled the urge to scream, and, except for that brief look, kept my gaze on the screen. 

When the group ended I took my broom, dustpan, a roll of paper towels, and swept this thing into the dustpan and took it to my door to fling it into the wild beyond - BUT, it was gone from the dustpan. That thing was still alive and had escaped. Since then I have been looking.  But I am proud that I seem somehow to have evolved, and did not scream at the sight of this horrid creature of the night.  This, for me,  is evolution.