As I began to write this blog, Friday October 27, at 2.15, I was shaken by a loud explosion. No sirens, so this means it is not immediately close to us. I turned on the TV - missiles in the Tel Aviv area, and a building was hit! An apartment building has been struck - 2 top stories are burning, residents are being rushed to hospital.
I have called this entry "A Heavy Heart" because for the last week or so my heart is heavy as I see and read of demonstrations around the world against Israel, against Jews, against the colonizing Israelis and persecution of Palestinians. Just so anyone who reads this can understand - I have ALWAYS been against the occupation. I am still opposed to the occupation. There are many people in Israel who oppose the occupation and still, against all hope, want a two state solution.
The 'woke,' self righteous, good people of the world, do NOT understand the very complex history of this area. They should try to become a little more informed, and read about the colonial British, the partition, the wars between the Arab peoples. It is not my place to write about this. I just want to let everyone know that this is PETRIFYING and tragic for everyone. We have nowhere to go. Nowhere is safe.
This morning I went for a teeth cleaning in the small town of Even Yehuda. The taxi driver who picked me up asked how I am. He said he is "excellent, as good as can be under the circumstances. I do not watch TV, I don't listen to each expert who knows better than the other what to do, I work and go home to my family, and pray."
Every small town and moshav now has a guard and gate at the entrance. As we went through early, there were only a couple of cars going through. Everyone working in the dental ofice was polite and solicitious. They wished me a quiet shabat when I left. I went for a cup of coffee and all the waiters and counter people were helpful and polite and nice. It is a different country since the war! I am not quite used to it. Before I reached the cafe a group of young boys, about 10, approached me and asked whether I would buy a lemonade or cookie for the residents and soldiers in the south. I said I would give them some money. I handed them the money and they said, "please, at least have some lemonade." They told me where the money was going. They were serious, polite and caring.
The taxi driver who picked me up to take me home apologised for being tardy - "there is a roadblock into town, only one and a (more explosions right now - Rishon LeZion) very long line of cars waiting to get through. So stupid", he said, "a long line at the one entrance - we will all be killed together."
On the way back we saw a miles long line of cars waiting to get through. He pointed out the open fields on either side of the highway, "what is to stop them coming through in a truck and killing us all."
We are NOT living in comfort and peace and ignorance. We know what is happening in Gaza, we know what is happening in the north. What we don't know is what is happening next - a ground invasion? not? when? This waiting and not knowing is completely nervewracking. Waiting for a war, waiting for missiles, above all, wanting, and waiting, and praying for the hostages to be returned.
To all you 'woke' people, try and understand that this story has many sides, an Apeirogon - it is a unending tragedy for everyone.
Read "Apeirogen" by Colum McCann
4 comments:
Just looked up the meaning of a apeirogen, a geometric shape with an infinite number of countable sides. The perfect metaphor. My heart is leaden. The terror of what you're living through Is unimaginable. I treasure your blog as a roadmap to understanding.
Thank you for writing these heart wrenching accounts. We are better for them. It affords us a connection to you. Love you, my friend.
Oh Nesta! As always your words and writing are so powerful. Thank you for writing and for your account of life in situation filled with constant terror. I am sending you all of my love from the other side of the world and praying for everyone as you ask.
Thank you for your honesty Nesta. This is such a complicated subject and all I can do is pray for peace and the safety of innocent people on both sides. I too avoid the news, it does nothing but sadden me for both sides. You are in my prayers!
Oh, dear Nesta. I feel how the violence and fear are constant. My stomach knots as I attempt to accompany you and my family. It is a highly complex fraught history playing out in the region and dreadful anti-Semitism unleashed worldwide. I, too, say this without diminishing criticism of Israel’s actions these 50 years.I pray with you fervently.,
Hadas
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