Anger, Bewilderment

As I write this, I have not imbibed any alcohol, despite my afore stated love of whiskey.

In case anyone reading this doesn't know, we are now at war with Hezbollah, in the north. We have in fact, been at war with them since the Hamas attack in the south on October 7th, 2023.  Hezbollah began sending rockets on October 8th. Our prime minister has not seen fit to defend and help the 100,000 refugees from the north for almost a year. The same way he has not come to any agreement about the hostages in Gaza. 

I have been going faithfully to demonstrations every Saturday night for over a year.  Recently, I have become unclear why I bother - whatever we do falls upon deaf ears. Nothing changes,  it just gets worse and worse and worse.  There is no plan for after the war with Hamas, and now suddenly we have gone to war with the North "to return our refugees." What kind of a plan is that?

I am utterly bewildered - I cannot understand how this will help the refugees return - the idea of a ground invasion horrifies me, I can't see the point of continued assassinations. 

Just to remind anyone reading this - this is my opinion. I am not a politician, I am not a strategist, all I can do is voice my opinion.  Before the demonstration last Saturday evening I again began considering - "it is hot, should I go? what difference does it make?" This inner debate continued for half an hour, then I decided to go.

On the way I received a photo of the grandson of someone living in New York. This person is an Israeli. Supposedly he knows what is going on here.  But never once has he asked how I am, or how any of his friends are.  It is the third photo of the grandson in as many days.  I suddenly experienced a rage directed at him, but obviously coming from a deep place of sorrow and confusion in me.  I texted him that we are living in two different worlds, the world I inhabit is one of sorrow, anger, fear, confusion, anxiety, uncertainty. It is not enhanced by a barrage of photos of a new baby.

I arrived at the demonstration feeling my rage boiling over. I picked up the flag and stood at the bridge to listen to the speeches.  A psychiatrist spoke. She said  she knows that most of us there experience depression, anxiety, uncertainty, hopelessness - she knows we don't know whether to continue demonstrating, or whether just to take to our beds and not get up any more.  Then she said - 'that is the state that our government thrive on - they can continue to do what they want, because of the silence of the majority. What they cannot deal with, what they fear most of all, is rage.  It is rage that will change things."

Hah, justified.

And so, almost a week of hell has passed since then, missile attacks, sirens, talks of a cease fire,  no cease fire, the frequent flying Prime Minister and his wife (a journalist has labeled him as a frequent flyer) is off to speak at the UN - and here I am, experiencing rage.  And I am not alone - a rage is boiling over.

What will be the outcome? - No one knows. It doesn't seem like anything positive at all as we get closer to Rosh Hashana and the anniversary of 7th October 2023.

Please pray for everyone here in the Middle East. EVERYONE.

Let there be some clarity. Even just a teeny weeny ray of light.