Solstice

Isn't today supposed to be a joyous day? - the longest day of the year (in the northern hemisphere.) Celebrating and dancing around maypoles and things?  I am afraid that is not happening here.  I have not written an entry in a while because I am at a loss for words.  If it weren't for the Mondial I am not sure where I would be mentally. 

This morning the taxi dropped me off close to my home.  As I walked past my neighbor's house, her front door was open and I heard someone inside crying.  It was heartrending sobs.  I whispered her name and she appeared around the door with a slice of toast and cheese.  "Marika" I said, "Are you OK?"  

"Comme ci, comme ca" she answered.  That is how everyone answers that question now, in whatever language they speak.  Not one person says good - no one, nader. 

"I thought you were crying."

"The television," she said.   She was watching a soap opera.

That was a relief - "comme ci, comme ca" I can handle. Heartrending sobs - not so easy. 

Terrible dark times all the time now, but even worse on today's solstice.

The Great Uncertainty

Firstly, thanks to those who responded (successfully) to my HELP post.  And a hearty thanks for reading this blog.  It is heartwarming to know that there exist souls who care about the planet and its beleaguered inhabitants.

Once again we have been cast into the uneasy existence of uncertainty - of not knowing - in fact, of not understanding what is happening around us.  Ceasefire?  what ceasefire?  New weapons and non stop fighting in the north.  What is happening in Gaza.  What is happening right here, in Israel? The violence that has erupted around us - young people killing each other, suicides, accidents.  The elections should be coming up - when? early September? late October?  The Government that has abandoned those in the north, that doesn't seem to care about education, or security, or health, that fights each other and lies to everyone, including themselves. That didn't foresee the danger of the drones?  How is this possible?

And, about the north - I watch the news from France, England, the US - I read the 'foreign' newspapers. There is hardly any mention of what Hezbollah - Iran's proxy - are doing to the people in the north.  The people there are under fire 24 hours - missiles, drones - the schools are closed, or opened then closed again because of the shelling. Businesses have closed, homes destroyed - this is not mentioned at all.  The headlines state Israel advances into Lebanon, Israeli forces destroyed villages.  Of course there are two sides to the fighting, but only one side is seen at the bad side.  This really upsets me.

The most recent war with Iran - the war within a war within a war - the Baboshka War. Baboshkas, for those who don't know - are those hand carved and painted wooden dolls from Russia that contain within it another doll, that opens to another one, down to the smallest doll nestled inside. 

During the most recent war with Iran I began to feel of it like a Baboshka - a war within a war within a war. And we know it is not yet over - another war in which NOTHING seems to have been gained or resolved. We have been told the same lies we were told in last year's war with Iran - the regime has been toppled, the ballistic missiles destroyed - BULLSHIT. The uranium problem exactly the same.  It seems the only thing 'gained' is that everyone's level of anxiety and fear and stress has reached all time highs. 

Hezbollah, we were told,  were destroyed last year.  BULLSHIT.  

It seems we are at a point where countless lives have been lost and destroyed - and noone knows what is next.  

The great uncertainty.

H-E-L-P !!!!!!!!!

 This help title is about my blog - NOTHING else, not to worry - although it could of course be applied on a personal level.

A friend wrote that she tried to post a comment, but couldn't find the place to post it.  Nor can I - it seems that the layout or settings or something changed.  I have looked at the settings and tried every which way but cannot find what to do.  If one checks the first box you have to email a comment (I think) - this is NOT ok.  I tried to click immediately after my name and I think then it is possible to post a comment.  I appeal to someone who is more digitally advanced than I am to try and post a comment. Maybe together we can work this out.

And for that matter, H-E-L-P as to my/our present situation.  I think the words depression, trauma, grief, horror, hopelessness - pretty much encompass the all around state of the people I come in contact with.  

In fact, I wont continue with this entry now for all of these reasons.

If someone can help with the settings - thanks.  🙏🙏🙏

What is going on????

 The only thing I do know for sure, is that today I was supposed to be in Edinburgh, Scotland.  My flight was cancelled by El Al, and then, exactly one day later the airways were reopened!  When I told this to an art teacher yesterday she said - "but think how lucky you are to have remained here in 40 degree heat, dust pollution making breathing difficult - not knowing what is going on, instead! "  What we do know is that we are feel that we are being visited upon by all the horrors of this planet of ours - 

A tenuous ceasefire - two now - with Iran and Lebanon.  Horrendous wars and suffering with absolutely nothing having been achieved.  I am not clear at all about what was supposed to be achieved - certainly the architects of these horrors are neither explaining, nor in fact communicating to us.  OBVIOUSLY Iran and Hizbolla have an endless supply of weapons - missiles of all sorts, that they have used very well.  The people in the north who were encouraged to return to their villages, towns, and farms have spent this entire time in shelters -  I wont and can't go on about this - that is left to the talking heads who also don't know what is going on.

The only thing I am aware of is that all the people I know feel like we are in a suspended state of something or other - our nervous systems are shattered.  We all jump at the slightest sound - no one is smiling.  Grimly I go the gym and workout.  The pool has reopened (it was shut because it is very dangerous to get out of a swimming pool and run to a safe room - so grimly people swim. We do our various activities grimly - Arabic lessons are a wild circus - shouting, interrupting, opining, knowing. Every time I go I think, I am NOT continuing, yet for some unknown reasons I find myself back in class once a week. People are trying to catch up with hairdressers, doctors appointments, shopping, - life in fact - waiting for the next round.

As I stated, I have not too much to say - in fact, I have nothing to say - just wanted to show that I am still here, and care for those who read this.

Pesach, Saturday Morning

I am safely back home after my Pesach night away.

I will now explain what safely back home means.   

Firstly I had to get 'there' safely.  ''There is my sister's home, 15 minutes away by car.  I was picked up by my sister, brother-in-law and 5 year old great niece.  Her brother is unwell and his parents and him will spend Pesach in hospital. My great niece will spend the night with her grandparents.  We made it safely to my sister's home - no alarms or sirens on the way.  They do have yoga mats in the boot should we have to get out and lie down - I brought an extra sheet.  Because of the situation, and knowing the Iranians, Hezbollah and Houthis would prepare surprises, we left early for the seder at their son's home.  His son and family had just finished building a shelter in their home - it was ready by the first week of this war.

Oh, how could I forget - Friday morning's first siren was at 8 am.  We were then in and out of the shelter at least 5 or 6 times - one loses count. It is, to put it mildly, unnerving.

We arrived safely at their son's home on a kibbutz about 20 minutes north.  The seder table was set.  My nephew's two young daughters had constructed lovely glittery pyramids which were on the table with the seder plate, hagadot, flowers. All the girls were lovely in their holiday finery. Just as we sat around the table the rattlesnake sounded.  Obviously the young ones were well trained - they knew it was a warning, and perhaps the siren wouldn't sound.  A few minutes later there was a loud boom and their mom said ' the rocket has been intercepted."  Then the siren wailed and the girls were in the safe room in less than a nanosecond.  The adults grabbed their first glass of wine and followed them. The door was slammed shut. The booms meant the rockets had been intercepted - soon we would be allowed to leave.

And so went the seder - "Why is this night different from all other nights?..........."

Again, we left early and made it back home safely.  One rattlesnake at 2 am - but no siren.  My sister is in a somewhat quieter area than I am.  I am closer to Tel Aviv.  

Yesterday they brought me home, again without incident - and for this thanks is ALWAYS given.  Last night rattlesnake at about 10.35 - siren, into shelter for quite a long time.  In the shelter a second rattlesnake, a second siren.  Eventually let out - large snails on the path back because there had been some rain.  2 am - rattlesnake, no siren.

This morning I was hanging my laundry outside when I heard the rattlesnake - then the siren.  The shelter was a little emptier as obviously some people had gone to family.  Out again.

It is 1.00 p.m. 

Chag sameach.

A Synopsis

 I see my last entry was on March 14 - some of my sketches.

Today is March 25th. I believe this new war began March 1st, or February 28th.  Time is very difficult to track.  For one thing, the entire nation is sleep de
prived - we are rudely awoken by the rattlesnake at odd times - maybe 11.00 p.m.   2.30 a.m.  4.30 a.m. 7.00 a.m. Whenever.  Our day routines, such as they are - are interrupted at varying intervals.  I think there was one night when we actually slept all night - the alarm sounded at 8.00 a.m. or close to that. 

In our high alert, sleep deprived state the smallest noise causes me, anyway to jump and get ready to run. My biggest fear is being in a car and having to stop and get out and lie down.  Before I get in a taxi I ask whether they will stop, because not everyone does, although we are told repeatedly to do so. I have my showering down to a fine art.  To go to the mall close by is OK because there is enough time between the warning and the siren to either return home or to get to a shelter at the mall.   I was caught in the neighbouring village during an unusual downpour.  My taxi driver took me to the ATM and showed me a spice shop nearby.  He also pointed out the public shelter.  We agreed to meet on a corner when I had finished my errands.

I was in the small, crowded spice shop when the rattlesnake sounded.  I had time to complete my purchases before the siren, if there was to be a siren.  I bought my things and stood outside on a pavement, looking at the rain.  Many people stood there waiting for the siren. Some customers left their bags on shelves, others hastily bought their items.  The siren sounded and we all walked to the shelter and climbed down the stairs, down and down and down to s small room.  We stood there jostling together, someone hermetically closed the door, mothers bounced kids, backs were patted.  After about 10 minutes the home front command sounded that we could leave.  The door was opened and we all left and continued whatever we had been doing - buying, drinking coffee, talking to a friend.  It is surreal.

The TV announcers working 24/7 keep saying - damage to property, no one hurt, middile intercepted, or fragments falling, keep away from them. When people are wounded or killed they insinuate that if they had gone to the shelter they would be OK.  All very well to say, but not everyone has access to shelters, or can reach one in time. 

I think the word chaos aptly describes our present situation.  Chaos and uncertainty.  Chaos and uncertainty and fear.

I had described my morning today in the gym, but it got lost somewhere and I don't feel like describing it again.  Suffice to say that while we were attempting to maintain some sanity by exercising - we had two alerts, one just 10 minutes after the other.  

Chaos.

Some photos from various shelters

Some Sketches