This is So Strange

This latest war, which we were all expecting, but noone was wanting, began on Saturday February 28th with the wailing of the siren at 8.00 a.m.  Today is March 10th. Life has changed.

Firstly, sleep deprivation is a terrible thing - I feel like a zombie. Everything feels scrambled and unclear in a way that is difficult to describe.  What day is it?  What is the time? Do we have lessons today? will the gym be open? Can we walk outside? Does anyone know what is going on?

I never go to bed before 11.30 - 12.  Now a torpor seems to have gotten hold of me. I climb into bed, fully dressed at 9.00 or so, seem to fall asleep only to be rudely awakened by the rattlesnake.  A new routine now, rattlesnake, grab phone to look at time, fall out of bed, put on my slippers, come to the living room and turn on TV.  The commentators, who seem to be there 24/7 are talking, underneath are headlines declaring a missile has been fired from Iran, get close to your shelters.  I stare at the screen waiting to see the names of the villages and towns in the missile's way - if I see our moshav then the siren blares and I grab a warm coat and bag and go outside to the shelter.  If the name doesn't appear, I fall back under the covers and inhale and exhale as instructed. On the way out of my room I see doors opening and people walking quickly to their assigned shelters. I push on the power door of the building, the door opens, and inside I go, nodding and waving to the Indian and Philippina helpers. I walk to the sofa which has become my de facto seat, because I can get off it.  Everyone has their seats. We hear booms and mutter 'there is a boom, that is close, there is another one." Someone gets up to pull the door tightly shut with a loud bang that sends us all flying.  Then we wait, can't read, can't knit,  some people try to say something, but it is mostly not audible due to various diseases causing speech impediments. The waiting could be 30 minutes, an hour, ten minutes - we wait for the all clear beep from the home front command.  The helpers seem to get it before we do. They stand up, so do we, and we leave.  Till the next time.

At home I shower, very quickly, if it is time to shower, or simply crawl back into bed and wait for the next alarm.  I may cook something - quickly, or put on a pot of tea, and hopeI remember to turn it off for the next alarm.    WHICH IS NOW.

It is very difficult to concentrate.  I am drawing some things (will put in the pictures).I am knitting - fancier patterns each hat. I look at whats apps, foreign news, play the spelling bee, and wait - for the inevitable next rattlesnake sound or the siren (that means we have no waiting time - must go, fast.  Sometimes I stare at the TV screen and am shocked by the villages and cities in the north that have to deal with non stop drones and missiles.  Then maybe the next Iranian missile is more towarads Jerusalem and the south.  This teeny weeny little country is under fire from everywhere.

The Waiting Game is Over

I published The Waiting Game on February 26.  On the 28th February at 8.30 a.m. - (or close to then) the wail of the siren over the country.  The war has begun. And so, here we are again.The dreaded sound like a cross between a rattlesnake and a vampire being beheaded and bones being dragged across glass - the alert that causes us to behave like Pavlovian dogs.  No matter what we are doing - sleeping? taking a shower? peeing, or heaven forbid, even worse? drinking coffee? out walking? in a car? All hearts jump as one, our heart beat way harder and quicker than is healthy, the blood courses through our vascular system like a raging river. Our adrenaline does whatever adrenaline does, and we wait - like for a lottery.  For the siren - will the missiles be in our area or not? when is the siren coming? When it does begin we have 90 seconds to get to a shelter. 10 seconds if you are in the north of the country. 15 seconds in the south.  And off we go. And sit down, and nod at our fellow sheltermates. and everyone clutches their phones, and we wait - again.  We nod at each other each time there is a boom, and say something inane like, "close, another one, and another, ooh."  This time we wait for the booms to end and the notification that we can now leave the shelter.

Till the next time.

And we watch  -  the same talking heads, and we know that we are not being told everything, or shown everything - but people have been killed - in shelters, out of shelters.  Lots of damage - the Hezbollah has joined in, the UAE countries are being bombed. Khomeini is no more.

And so already three days have been spent.

The Waiting Game

Nervewracking.   Like Waiting for Godot.

Yesterday, whilst scrolling through short vignettes by those who know exactly what is happening, and when it will happen, or may not happen. (I am of course referring to the confrontation between USA and Iran) I saw a hilarious video.   Khomeini stands next to He Who Shall Not be Named - - Khomeini shakes his fist at him and shouts:  "Decide already, you are driving me crazy."

I think this is yet another state of insanity. That the world awaits the whim of idiot monsters.  And as for the pundits, ...... 

So, yesterday I received a whats app from my niece, the mother of 2 children, one of 8 and the other 5.  That morning their school had an earthquake drill  When they came home her son asked what to do if there is an earthquake and at the same time an air raid siren. Her daughter suggested they be divided into two groups - one group will go outside and the second group will go to the shelter.  After a few minutes the groups will change places.

Only in Israel.

Some Photos

 

I have been hiking, taking photos, doing pencil drawings (obviously I am copying Illustrations).  Other than that, watching The Lincoln Lawyer, and reading and rereading Jan Phillip Sendker's trilogy - The Art of Hearing Heartbeats, The Heart Remembers, A Well Tempered Heart.  Knitting also, and doing yoga, etc.

Uncertainty

This is the permanent way in which I/we - now live.  There are some things that so far continue as they always have.   Day follows night - the sun and moon continue to rise and set.  Monday follows Sunday. Shabat continues to be shabat.   We still count from 1.

The weather is no longer like it used to be.  Animal and plant life have changed - the entire world appears confused.  Will Trump attack Iran, Will Iran attack Israel, what about Greenland????? What about Gaza???  Ukraine?  We are in the hands of utterly insane men who worship power and money above all else.

It is an all consuming task to remain centered, which is, I think, the only thing to do. 

At last we have rain, of course too much - so flashfloods, sinkholes, accidents, drownings, but along with it carpets of yellow and here are the first harbingers of spring.

Happy New Year

 

I wish all a Happy New Year.   I do not expect miracles.  Peace and Goodwill to all is a nice thought, but does not appear to be realistic.  What I wish for everyone is health, and inner peace, and the ability to ride the various waves that come our way.

day 804 Last Post of 2025

 

    

I spent 5 days at a magical retreat in Cyprus.  A center for Israelis of all kinds - old, young, middle aged, soldiers, reservists, men, women, religious, not religious,  - one commonality - all in dire need of  respite from over two years of war. Tired, battered, grieving. We could attend workshops led by professionals, soak in healing waters, enjoy massages, go for walks in nature. Partake of wonderful food. We could also do nothing - there was no overlord telling us what to do, or what would be good for us;  What could be more healing?

For me, it was an ideal place to  overcome my prejudice against the religious.  This began on my flights to Israel via Newark airport.  I in fact blogged about it many years ago (you can look up Crazy Flights if you wish.) This prejudice is not helped by the political attitudes of many religious, although of course not, by any means, all of them.  Look up Rabbis for Human Rights and the incredible and brave work they do.

Meals at the center are self service, and many times I found myself having to sit with people  I might have tried to avoid. - Men in skullcaps, women in  head scarves.  Once we began talking I discovered ---- human beings. Intelligent, curious, senses of humour, compassion - we could laugh together,  commiserate together,  understand each other. For me,  a miraculous pre Hanukah gift in these dark times. 

Cyprus is a mere 40 minute flight from Israel, but on the way to Paphos it was a rather frightening 40 minutes - turbulence, jolting, a heavy landingl.  I found that being in a plane of predominantly religious people was a comfort - I was sure they were praying, I know I was!

What a blessing to have been there before the first day of Chanukah and the slaughter at Bondi Beach.   I feel I have no words left.  As it is, my vocabulary has been greatly diminished since Covid.  I have basically uttered two words, "Unbelievable" and "horrendous."  Now unbelievable has been replaced by "You'd better believe it."

And so 2025 soon ends. We have but one thing to do, I believe, and that is to carry on. To try to be nice and understanding to our fellow beings, because we are all in this together. That includes to be nice and understanding to ourselves as well.

Love and blessings to all of you.