Heartsick

 I think I am at an all time low, although goodness knows it is highly likely to get even more down as everything crumbles and deteriorates. I can hardly turn on the news  - neither Israeli, nor foreign news. The same goes for looking at the paper.   

67 days of fighting, 137 hostages, the numbers of soldiers being killed mounts daily, as of course the staggering reports of civilians dying in Gaza.  Starvation, disease, desperation. This is war.  There are absolutely no euphemisms, just sheer horror and disbelief at the plight of humanity. It will end at some time, because all things come to an end - but how, when.   No victors if there were expected to be such a thing. Everything seems futile.

And, despite the futility, and the despair, one continues - lighting Hanukah candles each night,  cleaning, spring onions, learning Arabic, attending yoga, painting, reading, knitting,  meeting friends, seeing family, jumping at explosions, learning to differentiate between thunder and explosions, cooking, crying, laughing.  The sun comes up and the sun goes down.  And the heart wonders just how much it can contain.