All Gone

 

And just like that .......

In two hours - everything gone, in a 200 cu. ft. container.

What I don't think will be gone in such a short time is the feelings that come over me every couple of hours over the last few months.  A feeling that is hard to describe, sort of between horror, or a sinking feeling - a quickening of my breath, a racing of my heart - 'where is ...? Did I pack it? and if so, in which box? and why? A racing through taped boxes, a fumbling through objects - where is it, my keys, my passports, a necklace, a pair of shoes, a painting, my glasses.   And now, when the feeling overcomes me as I am sure it will, "too late now - I can't go and unpack everything again - too bad - didn't need it anyway, "

And now, what am I going to do with my time?  

And just like that ......

So after the packers drove away I went on a long meandering walk up and down the hills of El Cerrito.  It is summer and a heavy layer of fog lies over the bay - Mt. Tam, the Golden Gate, and San Francisco appear then disappear. Mounds of dirt from busy gophers crumble onto sidewalks.  Concrete fences erected to shore up the gardens on the inclines tilt precariously. Hollyhocks and roses - loquat trees, bushes of rosemary, the leaves of the silver birch tree hang down  shining green and silver and grey like a pendant of jewels, magnolia trees still flowering, the jacarandas spread their purple carpets that are now turning brown, and crunch underfoot.  How I love this area, and these views, and these walks.  I will continue to savor them while I can.