Today I joined the burgeoning multitude. I had my first shot of the Moderna vaccine.
I stood in the 1.20 p.m. line. This, I thought to myself, must be what it is like at Lourdes. The very old, the misshapen, the bent, the lame, those on wheelchairs, those with canes, those pushing walkers. Black people, brown people, yellow people, white people, all with a shared purpose - hopefully to evade the clutches of the virus that has changed our lives.
I feel there appear to be two streams of thought. Those who place absolute faith in science and statistics, and the others - the anti-vaxers.
As I have written in previous entries, it is really difficult, if not impossible, for us to grasp that our lives, or rather, our lives as we knew them, have irrevocably changed. It is almost a year now and what was really strange is now a way of life. We wear masks, We do not go to gyms, to theaters, to cinemas, to restaurants, to shops, we hardly socialise. Zoom has found its way into our lives. We learn languages, do yoga, paint, draw, analyze our psyches, learn to fix cars, whatever it is, on zoom. The world of science fiction is here.
I feel that I hover between these two opposing streams. I don't feel science is invincible. I don't feel we have all the answers and the genius to do and solve everything. This virus is new, and it is doing what it must do, it is mutating. We are learning about it every day as it continues to evolve. Although I don't think the vaccine will change our lives, of course I will have it, So today I drove to Contra Costa College. This is an area I worked in for years, but haven't been this way in quite a while. The trees clad in their pink blossoms line El Portal Avenue, making the drive quite pleasant.
I had the vaccine, and have an appointment for the second shot. So far I feel fine - I don't even have a sore arm, although I realise this can still happen, But do I feel that my life will change? No, not at all. Has the virus been vanquished - no. It is mutating, as viruses do, it is here among us, and we have to learn to live with it. Vaccine or not, we have to be careful that we will not get infected, and that we don't pass it on to someone else.
That is our life now, along with masks, social distancing, and zoom.
3 comments:
Nesta, this is so well said, I confess I agree with these sentiments entirely! Science, yes. But there is always that pesky voice that perhaps a mad scientist is behind the latest "advances". It seems the "new normal" is our level of adjustment to a changed world and a demand for changes in our capacities to be with ourselves in new ways. Onward to more of the same...
I would suggest that there is a third stream of thought — those who are wary of the medical establishment based on past experience. It's easy to dismiss those who are afraid of the vaccine as ignorant, yet history shows that these fears are not unfounded. Just read "The Dark History of Medical Experimentation on Black Americans From Colonial Times to the Present" to see how Blacks were unwittingly part of medical experiments. This book documents cases beyond the infamous Tuskegee Experiment.
I agree with you Nesta, we will never go back to the pre-Covid days. No more crowds of people standing on top of one another waiting to get into concerts or baseball games or jamming themselves into a BART train. Hand shakes and hugs between strangers or casual acquaintances are done. It makes me sad to think of the world we are passing onto the the next generation.
My only concerns with the vaccine is that it usually takes years to fully test a drug. I am aware of how blacks were used as guinea pigs for diseases in drugs in the past and I've read the book about Henrietta Lacks and how her cells are the most important cell lines in medical history but her family was never made aware us this for year. As far as I'm concerned, until I see separate lines for blacks and other races to get the vaccine, I have nothing to worry about as a black woman.
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