It appears that matters between Finn and myself have settled somewhat. I am not sure what the final (let's hope) deterrent was/is. Of course I have not let up my guard, and when I see Finn outside in the front of my house I glare at him and he sneaks away! Suffice to say we are no longer on speaking terms.
Very soon I depart the USA for my homeland! I am off to South Africa to attend a high school reunion, see friends and family, and travel around a bit. The last time I was there was eight years ago. Who knows whether I shall blog from there or not, probably not as you may have noticed that I do not maintain a steady pace of entries.
Everyone I know felt the quake the other night. Now there are rivers of wine in Napa and I can't help thinking, with apologies to Marie Antoinette, "if there is no water let them drink wine."
Horrible 'event' and my heart is indeed with everyone as they clean up and count their losses and repair the structures until the next quake.
Monday, August 25, 2014
Monday, August 4, 2014
Back
The cat came back, the very next day .............
What did I expect. I cannot maintain a 24 hour vigil, stick in hand. I do have to go out from time to time. So, this morning, I have fortified my command post - the enemy is not in sight at present. I KNOW he will be back despite my strengthening my stakeout. He is stealthy and is not deterred at all. He thinks this is his territory, I think it is mine.
Does all this sound frighteningly and depressingly familiar?
Yahhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!
What did I expect. I cannot maintain a 24 hour vigil, stick in hand. I do have to go out from time to time. So, this morning, I have fortified my command post - the enemy is not in sight at present. I KNOW he will be back despite my strengthening my stakeout. He is stealthy and is not deterred at all. He thinks this is his territory, I think it is mine.
Does all this sound frighteningly and depressingly familiar?
Yahhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!
Saturday, August 2, 2014
My Own Private War
It is with great sadness that I wish to declare that sides have been established and boundaries declared in my own private war.
For those avid readers of my blog you will recall that earlier this year I rhapsodized about my lovely space in the back of the house. The joy I take in my curly willow tree, my succulents, and the tomatoes I am now eating. I also planted a lovely Japanese lace leaf maple. Not two days later I noticed that some critter was using the fresh earth as their litter box. I did not want to think that this could be my neighbors' tabby striped cat, Fin. It is only recently that Fin has been allowed out of his apartment. When I drive home he bounds across the road to my car, exactly like a dog would do, to greet me. Soon his forays moved from across the road to parts unknown. He even tried to insinuate himself into my house, but unfortunately I am allergic to cats and Fin could not come in. A territorial war then began between Fin, Hot Toddy, and a feral cat named Bella. All suspect for using my maple leaf tree as a litter box.
In the meantime, unsure of who the offender was, I went back to the nursery and spent $30 on something the man there assured me was infallible for deterring critters. "Critter Ridder." I followed the directions sprinkling it around - the instructions assured me it would be good for at least 30 days. Maybe two hours later I noticed that the area was again being used as a toilet.
I then went online, and then sprinkled coffee grounds around, along with the critter ridder. I put down strips of aluminum foil, I placed gravel in the spot, along with mulch. Nothing worked. After careful observations of the habits of the surrounding cats, I determined that Fin is the culprit. Impartial observers confirmed my suspicion. The other morning I stood in my kitchen and saw Fin sneaking around the house. I grabbed a spray bottle and confronted him. All he did was stare at the bottle, he did not budge. In fact the look he gave me was like, "bring it on, I love this."
And so, Fin uses the space and I clean it out. I built up what I thought to be an impermeable fortress. It wasn't. The other morning I was outside watering my plants and caught Fin, mid act. I picked up a branch of the fuchsia and brandished it in his direction, scaring both myself, and, at last, Fin, who scampered off. Then I saw him crouching beside the house, waiting. I brandished it again.. Off went Fin - for the time being.
Does anyone have any helpful ideas, I would welcome. This war is wearisome!
For those avid readers of my blog you will recall that earlier this year I rhapsodized about my lovely space in the back of the house. The joy I take in my curly willow tree, my succulents, and the tomatoes I am now eating. I also planted a lovely Japanese lace leaf maple. Not two days later I noticed that some critter was using the fresh earth as their litter box. I did not want to think that this could be my neighbors' tabby striped cat, Fin. It is only recently that Fin has been allowed out of his apartment. When I drive home he bounds across the road to my car, exactly like a dog would do, to greet me. Soon his forays moved from across the road to parts unknown. He even tried to insinuate himself into my house, but unfortunately I am allergic to cats and Fin could not come in. A territorial war then began between Fin, Hot Toddy, and a feral cat named Bella. All suspect for using my maple leaf tree as a litter box.
In the meantime, unsure of who the offender was, I went back to the nursery and spent $30 on something the man there assured me was infallible for deterring critters. "Critter Ridder." I followed the directions sprinkling it around - the instructions assured me it would be good for at least 30 days. Maybe two hours later I noticed that the area was again being used as a toilet.
I then went online, and then sprinkled coffee grounds around, along with the critter ridder. I put down strips of aluminum foil, I placed gravel in the spot, along with mulch. Nothing worked. After careful observations of the habits of the surrounding cats, I determined that Fin is the culprit. Impartial observers confirmed my suspicion. The other morning I stood in my kitchen and saw Fin sneaking around the house. I grabbed a spray bottle and confronted him. All he did was stare at the bottle, he did not budge. In fact the look he gave me was like, "bring it on, I love this."
And so, Fin uses the space and I clean it out. I built up what I thought to be an impermeable fortress. It wasn't. The other morning I was outside watering my plants and caught Fin, mid act. I picked up a branch of the fuchsia and brandished it in his direction, scaring both myself, and, at last, Fin, who scampered off. Then I saw him crouching beside the house, waiting. I brandished it again.. Off went Fin - for the time being.
Does anyone have any helpful ideas, I would welcome. This war is wearisome!
Tuesday, July 29, 2014
New things
There are a number of things I have been mulling over to write about, but this terrible war in Israel and Gaza has most of my attention and concern. However, I will try to write about something else.
Recently I began working with two babies with Down Syndrome. Both are from hispanic families. I have now been seeing them for a few months and the mothers have gained my trust.
The thing that happens is that with each session the mothers talk to me a little more, about their concerns, their hopes, their faith, and they begin slowly to ask me more questions about myself, whether I believe in God, whether I have children, etc.
Two weeks ago, just as I was getting ready to leave, the one mother told me that she doesn't drive, and said how very difficult it is for her. The family live in a garage in Richmond. When the weather is cold there is no insulation and it is freezing despite the carpets and blankets they put down. When it is hot, it is very hot, and the mom cooks and fries food - she makes breakfast when I arrive, usually fried eggs and beans for her and her husband, and cereal or eggs for their three year old daughter. It is so warm and humid inside that my glasses fog over. She told me she doesn't drive and then said how tied down she is. She is with the two girls all day long. The daughter with Down syndrome likes to be held a lot, and it takes a long time to nurse her, because she does not have a powerful suck. She says when her husband returns from work she passes him the daughter and gives him a bottle for her and he insists that it is not his job, he works hard outside the home. She told him that if she had wanted a child alone, that is what she would have done, but they are together in this, they are a family and need to support each other. Of course this has created a lot of tension in the home and the older daughter picks up on this and reacts in her way, which is to be defiant and cry.
I asked the mom whether she would like some counseling. Teary eyed she replied that she would, and I told her I would see what I can arrange. To add to this situation are the constant money worries and the high cost of living. Mom is tired and depressed.
The other mother looks very young, but she is not as young as she appears. She has a nine year old daughter in El Salvador whom she has not seen for seven years. The daughter lives with her mother. The daughter would like to come here, but that is just not possible. The mom told me she fled from a situation of domestic violence in El Salvador and came here alone. Here in Richmond she and her husband and daughter live in an unsafe area. The other day as I sat with mom and her daughter a neighbor began to scream - "I have my rights, get out of here" in such a loud voice that it permeated the area and filled the street and surrounding apartments. Either the mother did not understand, or she is by now impervious to the goings on. I looked outside and saw three police cars and two ambulances parked in front of the neighbor's apartment. It was hard to talk to mom, but thankfully the little girl slept through everything. Thankfully, or it is yet another cause for concern, I suspect that she does not hear well. She does have an appointment for a hearing test soon.
Every time I get there mom gives me a letter she has received, some of them ask for money for their daughter's blood work etc. It seems to me Medical should be covering this. It looks like companies are taking chances of billing for covered services in the hopes that people who don't understand these letters will pay the amount they see out of fear. I help mom fill in forms and letters almost every week.
What is interesting is how universal the problems facing mothers are, whether the mothers are well educated and working, or on the lower end of the socio-economic scale. I suppose these gender related tensions and difficulties for stay at home mothers are not new, and it is not easy to work them out. I can at least be of emotional support to these women, and to listen to them, and to hug them when they cry.
Recently I began working with two babies with Down Syndrome. Both are from hispanic families. I have now been seeing them for a few months and the mothers have gained my trust.
The thing that happens is that with each session the mothers talk to me a little more, about their concerns, their hopes, their faith, and they begin slowly to ask me more questions about myself, whether I believe in God, whether I have children, etc.
Two weeks ago, just as I was getting ready to leave, the one mother told me that she doesn't drive, and said how very difficult it is for her. The family live in a garage in Richmond. When the weather is cold there is no insulation and it is freezing despite the carpets and blankets they put down. When it is hot, it is very hot, and the mom cooks and fries food - she makes breakfast when I arrive, usually fried eggs and beans for her and her husband, and cereal or eggs for their three year old daughter. It is so warm and humid inside that my glasses fog over. She told me she doesn't drive and then said how tied down she is. She is with the two girls all day long. The daughter with Down syndrome likes to be held a lot, and it takes a long time to nurse her, because she does not have a powerful suck. She says when her husband returns from work she passes him the daughter and gives him a bottle for her and he insists that it is not his job, he works hard outside the home. She told him that if she had wanted a child alone, that is what she would have done, but they are together in this, they are a family and need to support each other. Of course this has created a lot of tension in the home and the older daughter picks up on this and reacts in her way, which is to be defiant and cry.
I asked the mom whether she would like some counseling. Teary eyed she replied that she would, and I told her I would see what I can arrange. To add to this situation are the constant money worries and the high cost of living. Mom is tired and depressed.
The other mother looks very young, but she is not as young as she appears. She has a nine year old daughter in El Salvador whom she has not seen for seven years. The daughter lives with her mother. The daughter would like to come here, but that is just not possible. The mom told me she fled from a situation of domestic violence in El Salvador and came here alone. Here in Richmond she and her husband and daughter live in an unsafe area. The other day as I sat with mom and her daughter a neighbor began to scream - "I have my rights, get out of here" in such a loud voice that it permeated the area and filled the street and surrounding apartments. Either the mother did not understand, or she is by now impervious to the goings on. I looked outside and saw three police cars and two ambulances parked in front of the neighbor's apartment. It was hard to talk to mom, but thankfully the little girl slept through everything. Thankfully, or it is yet another cause for concern, I suspect that she does not hear well. She does have an appointment for a hearing test soon.
Every time I get there mom gives me a letter she has received, some of them ask for money for their daughter's blood work etc. It seems to me Medical should be covering this. It looks like companies are taking chances of billing for covered services in the hopes that people who don't understand these letters will pay the amount they see out of fear. I help mom fill in forms and letters almost every week.
What is interesting is how universal the problems facing mothers are, whether the mothers are well educated and working, or on the lower end of the socio-economic scale. I suppose these gender related tensions and difficulties for stay at home mothers are not new, and it is not easy to work them out. I can at least be of emotional support to these women, and to listen to them, and to hug them when they cry.
Monday, July 14, 2014
Israel and Gaza
I beg all of you who are not consumed by hatred and fear to please join our voices in clamoring for peace. This cannot continue
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Saturday, May 31, 2014
Perfection
It is a perfect summer day here in Albany. The early morning fog has given way to blue skies. I am sitting in my tiny patch of garden, next to my greek-isle-reminiscent yellow table, reading. My head and back of my neck are being gently caressed by the leaves of my curly willow tree. I have my hand in the soil surrounding the tree, and am enjoying the perfect bit of shade it provides, and am reminded of how I love trees.
A friend gave me two small branches of a curly willow that her neighbor was cutting down. I put them in a bucket and when both branches sprouted hairy roots offered one to my neighbor ,and I placed one in a pot. That was four years ago. Each summer the leaves have returned to the bare branches and this summer it is just perfect. Large enough for me to sit under its branches, and to provide me with shade.
Last weekend I removed a fuchsia plant that has been here for longer than I have, and which has been diseased for that same amount of time. I removed the old woody roots and stems and the leaves with the disease which causes them to curl and wrinkle, and turn from green to spotty yellow with definite strange deformities at their base. I have now put in a lace-leaf Japanese maple, and am hoping that it will grow and flourish like my curly willow, and that I can continue to enjoy this wonderful outdoor spot.
A friend gave me two small branches of a curly willow that her neighbor was cutting down. I put them in a bucket and when both branches sprouted hairy roots offered one to my neighbor ,and I placed one in a pot. That was four years ago. Each summer the leaves have returned to the bare branches and this summer it is just perfect. Large enough for me to sit under its branches, and to provide me with shade.
Last weekend I removed a fuchsia plant that has been here for longer than I have, and which has been diseased for that same amount of time. I removed the old woody roots and stems and the leaves with the disease which causes them to curl and wrinkle, and turn from green to spotty yellow with definite strange deformities at their base. I have now put in a lace-leaf Japanese maple, and am hoping that it will grow and flourish like my curly willow, and that I can continue to enjoy this wonderful outdoor spot.
Tuesday, May 27, 2014
Three
I was considering entitling this entry 'triad' 'trinity' 'triangle' - then I looked at the date of my last entry - just over 3 months ago - hence the title.
Let me try to explain - after I was in America for about 5 years I began to pay attention to three rather distinct identities residing within me. My South African self, my Israeli self, and my emerging American self.
For the most part they all manage to exist without too much conflict. Over these last few months , however, these identities have emerged strongly again. For one thing, I will be visiting South Africa later this year - I have an important high school reunion to attend, and of course will see relatives, friends, and as much of the country as time and funds permit. So my South aArican identity has resurfaced strongly. A month ago I went to a Johnny Clegg concert which was a walk down memory lane. The very same night I returned to messages on my answering machine and in Facebook from friends in Israel to say they were thinking of me. That night of the concert was the eve of Memorial Day in Israel. That night my dreams were of South Africa and Israel - populated with a mix of friends and scenery from both countries It was only when I opened my eyes the next morning that I realized that I am in Albany, California.Then 2 weeks ago I received a call from an Israeli friend who lives in New York to tell me that an American friends of ours who now lives in Israel had arrived in America and apparently had a major stroke. The next week was filled with e-mails and calls from many people I knew in Israel who are now all over the States. I found it extremely difficult to divorce myself from all of this and go to work and all my activities here as if everything is just fine. In fact, here in America I am just fine - on the surface, while my psyche roils between countries, memories and places.
At the same time as all these events are occurring I am attending classes in life coaching. Of course these classes require much self reflection - who am I? where am I? what do I do? what have I done? This time, instead of seeing all of this as inner turmoil or conflict, I am choosing to view this as enriching. I do not necessarily need to have 'one' unifying aspect - rather, let the different parts exist side by side occasionally blending together, but mostly not, and to view this as okay.
And this view may change ........
Let me try to explain - after I was in America for about 5 years I began to pay attention to three rather distinct identities residing within me. My South African self, my Israeli self, and my emerging American self.
For the most part they all manage to exist without too much conflict. Over these last few months , however, these identities have emerged strongly again. For one thing, I will be visiting South Africa later this year - I have an important high school reunion to attend, and of course will see relatives, friends, and as much of the country as time and funds permit. So my South aArican identity has resurfaced strongly. A month ago I went to a Johnny Clegg concert which was a walk down memory lane. The very same night I returned to messages on my answering machine and in Facebook from friends in Israel to say they were thinking of me. That night of the concert was the eve of Memorial Day in Israel. That night my dreams were of South Africa and Israel - populated with a mix of friends and scenery from both countries It was only when I opened my eyes the next morning that I realized that I am in Albany, California.Then 2 weeks ago I received a call from an Israeli friend who lives in New York to tell me that an American friends of ours who now lives in Israel had arrived in America and apparently had a major stroke. The next week was filled with e-mails and calls from many people I knew in Israel who are now all over the States. I found it extremely difficult to divorce myself from all of this and go to work and all my activities here as if everything is just fine. In fact, here in America I am just fine - on the surface, while my psyche roils between countries, memories and places.
At the same time as all these events are occurring I am attending classes in life coaching. Of course these classes require much self reflection - who am I? where am I? what do I do? what have I done? This time, instead of seeing all of this as inner turmoil or conflict, I am choosing to view this as enriching. I do not necessarily need to have 'one' unifying aspect - rather, let the different parts exist side by side occasionally blending together, but mostly not, and to view this as okay.
And this view may change ........
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