758 Days. Some thoughts

It is already November 2nd.  Recently I have been thinking (I still do that sometimes, i.e. - think/ponder) that I came back to Israel on October 23rd 2022.  I moved into my new home on November 14, 2022.  

The elections were held on November 26, 2022. I could not vote, even though I am a citizen, because of some bureaucratic snafu.  Bibi Netanyahu was voted in - again - that is, his Likud party.  Would my one vote against him have made a difference? I actually do think that one person does make a difference in the grand scheme of things. 

At that time the people I know in Israel were very upset that he returned to power.  They knew things were changing, sliding downhill, but I don't think anyone foresaw the dreadful war that would erupt on October 7th, 2023, and still continues to this very day.  From November 2022 protests began against the judicial reform - nothing changed, then came the war, protests continued - this time to bring back the hostages

, to end the war. Nothing changed.  There is a "ceasefire" that is broken, remade, broken, no victory, still 11 hostage remains to be returned. Protests continue.  The nation is traumatised.  Last night I spoke to my. niece - I told her that every time I hear a car door slam, a siren, any kind of screech, my heart kind of stops, then pounds - "Oh no," I think, here we go.  She says it is exactly the same for her, and her children, and everyone she knows.  Two years of being on high alert is not particularly good for one's nervous system.  People are angry, sad, confused. There are thousands of soldiers - wounded in body and spirit. Almost 1000 killed, the judicial reform continues, the corruption of the highest officials worsens ----  there is little hope, the religious continues to protest enlistment.  Who would EVER have imagined what is happening. 

As you may see, I am not writing for the people of Gaza - it is almost impossible to imagine their suffering.

All of the above is my excuse for not posting entries for almost three weeks.  I just have not the heart to say anything, but I suppose I should - sort of to bear witness, so here, I have posted an entry.  Thanks to those who read this.

738 Days

 

                                                                        

733 Days

 Yesterday marked exactly two years since the "Black Shabat" - the slaughter of the innocents.

Two extremely difficult years.  Two traumatic years. I find myself at some indescribable point - where I feel I cannot absorb much more. I do neither feel numb, nor necessarily depressed, more like a functioning zombie.

I went to Ein Dor for Yom Kippur and as ever it like being in a warm blanket  with friends in familiar surroundings.  The services were meaningful, my visit to the ever expanding ceremony comforting in its strange way. Everything familiar, and yet so very different. The bus ride is different - the Arab villages are now much larger. Afula is a growing town, with endless traffic, new aparatments and shopping centres everywhere.

On Yom Kipur we think of forgiveness, of morality, of justice?????

And now it is Succot - we are reminded that existence is temporary and impermanent - as if we are not reminded of this every minute of every day. 

And once again we wait for bated breath to hear whether the hostages will be released - exchanged for prisoners. Whether there will be a cease fire? And I think of the players in this 'deal' - Trump, Bibi, Hamas, Jared Kushner, Erdogan, The Quattaris, the Saudi Arabians, the Egyptians, Ben Gvir, Smotrich - THESE are the players - what on earth can we expect from this obscene theatre of the absurd?

And then last night the families of the hostages held their ceremony from Park Hayarkon in Tel Aviv, and we see the truly beautiful, brave, inspiring side of Israel.  The depth of the suffering. The need for this all to end - to rebuild, to return to the light and the truth.

Will this happen?

714 Days - Heading Toward Rosh Hashana

 

I took this photo of the squills which herald the coming of Autumn.  They arise on every hill and in every valley and on every patch of land.  It is the time of the bird migration,  as millions of different species make their way to Africa. Nature continues undeterred, despite the horrors caused by humans. We are heading toward Rosh Hashana - The New Year, which begins on the evening of September 22nd this year. The beginning of the days of awe, between Rosh Hashana and Yom Kipur.  A time of repentance, of introspection, of prayer.  And here,  a continued time of war, war, and more war. The hostages are not back - the soldiers fight and are killed. The inhabitants of Gaza either remain in their battered city, or pay large sums of money to leave - where do they go?  As a nation we end another year of war, and move into the next year, there is no light, no hope. Despair. Grief. Anger. What a way to begin a new year.

700 DAYS

 700 DAYS. The incredulous is credulous.  The not possible is possible.  The unbelievable is believable. 

                                                         

                                                    The Second Coming

Turning and turning in the widening gyre

The falcon cannot hear the falconer;

Things fall apart; the centre cannot hold;

Mere anarchy is loosed upon the world,

The blood-dimmed tide is loosed, and everywhere

The ceremony of innocence is drowned;

The best lack all conviction while, while the worst

Are full of passionate intensity.

Surely some revelation is at hand;

Surely the Second Coming is at hand.

The Second Coming! Haradly are those words out

When a vast image out of Spiritus Mundi

Troubles my sight: somewhere in sands of the desert

A shape with lion body and the head of a man,

A gaze blank and pitiless as the sun, 

Is moving its slow thighs, while all about it

Reel shadows of the indignant desert birds.

The darkness drops again; but now I know

That twenty centuries of stony sleep

Were vexed to nightmare by a rocking cradle,

And what rough beast, its hour come round at last,

Slouches towards Bethlehem to be born?

Written by Yeats in 1919 for another country, another land.  How prophetic for our sorry state as things fall apart.  How exact the words are for our times.  How very tragic.

What to Say?

Day 673.

Outside temperature is 33 centigrade, (about 95 fahrenheit).  Dew point is 65%.  It feels like it is about 38 degrees because of the heat load factor.  Oppressive.  What can it feel like in Gaza, either on the ground, or in the tunnels? No air conditioning there, not much water, no chance to get in the sea.  Hell on earth, hell below earth.

And the Cabinet has voted to conquer Gaza???????  I have nothing left to say.

As you know, I paint, and still am doing so.  I decided to try acrylics because I don't like the smell of the oil paint in my house, in which the windows are mostly closed, due to the air conditioning.  I also decided, for the first time, to copy an artist, because apparently this is good practice.  I found a painting of Edward Hopper's that I thought I would try.  It depicts a couple and their dog in their house.  The man sits on the doorstep, the woman is standing nearby, and their dog is playing in the ochre coloured grass.  There is a forest, or a wood, on the left side of the house.  I worked on this for a good few weeks.  Last week when I came to class I took it down from the top of the bookcase and stared at the painting.  The teacher said she really liked what I had done, and it is probably finished.  I looked at it in despair, and took out a pair of sharp scissors and cut it up.  In other words, I had a hissy fit, although I didn't say anything, I just slashed at it.  The teacher quietly asked whaat would make things better for me.  

I looked at her despairingly and said "bring back all the hostages, NOW, stop the fighting, end this futile war, feed everyone in Gaza, stop the insanity on the West Bank, "

Of course this whole incident had nothing to do with my attempt at copying Hopper.  But this is how I feel - DESPAIRING.

And this is what I did afterward.

656 Days

 It is 656 days since the horror of October 7th was visited upon us.  

I ask for any of you reading this, and who cares, to join us with your prayers. Tonight there will be massive demonstrations all over Israel, to demand an end to this war and that the hostages, dead and alive,  be brought back together.

Thank you.