This morning I arrived in Berlin. This is my first visit here and I am now sitting in a Hotel room in the Hackescher Markt.
My Israeli nephew is doing a postdoc at the Max Planck Institute in Jena, in East Germany. I had planned to visit him and his family during my trip to Israel. When we discussed dates, the best time for him is for me to come this Thursday, the 2nd of May. I looked at my calendar and saw it is Holocaust Memorial Day.
‘Nothing like coming directly to the source,” I said to him, rather grimly. It certainly has not escaped my attention that on this day I will be taking a train from Berlin to East Germany. On top of it I have to change trains in Erfurt, which is where the ovens for the gas chambers were made.
So here I sit in a cafe looking at the constant parade of people. It all feels so familiar. Why I wonder? Is it from the many movies and documentaries I have seen, or the fact that bauhaus architecture is very prevalent in Tel Aviv. I walked around the area after I arrived because I always do that in a new city. I love to walk around feeling the energy of a city that is new to me. The area in which I am situated was apparently a largely Jewish area before the war. I am enjoying a Berliner Pilsener and digesting the sites I came across in my wanderings.
I walk into an interesting looking lane and there I find OttoWeidt's brush factory. Otto Weidt, a non Jewish man, employed Jews who were blind and deaf during the war. Of course this was forbidden. This incredible man and his wife and a few friends employed Jews and hid them during raids. They managed to do this for at least two years, until someone gave them away. The factory is now a modest memorial. Everything is exactly as it was, the rooms, the workbenches, and the hiding places.
I exit quite overwhelmed and stumble across the Anne Frank Centre in the very same alley. It is a nonprofit association headquartered in Berlin and the German Partner of the Anne Frank House in Amsterdam. The work they do there is really admirable. getting young people involved and countering anti-Semitism and racism. I wish I could say, and so do they, I am sure, that their work is done. Unfortunately it is not, and may never be.
Enough for a day, back to my hotel to rest and to contemplate.
Saturday, May 11, 2019
Thursday, April 11, 2019
Almost Off Again
Tomorrow I leave for Israel.
Post elections. It should be interesting. That is one thing about Israel I can say for sure. It is never not interesting.
Today my sister sent me an article by David Grossman. He is so articulate, intelligent, and sensitive. What struck me in particular, is that these are the same conclusions I have come to over the last few years, especially since our last election.
I paraphrase:
"There are moments in the life of a nation, or an individual, where one asks oneself - "how is this possible?" "How did this happen?" It is the same sense of horror and awe we have when there is a tsunami, or flood, or earthquake. Acts of nature. Possibly there are explanations, but at this moment we have none and we have to confront the reality of what has happened and come to terms with it. We cannot control these things, what we can do is decide on our own course of action.
Every day one must ensure that one does not succumb to racism, power, narrow mindedness, exploitation and one must continue to believe, maybe with the innocence of a child, that there is hope for peace, and equality, and justice between nations. If my government or elected officials do not believe in, or practise these principles, I will continue to do so, and I shall practise them in my own small way."
(with apologies to David Grossman whose article I have translated and summarised)
So it is with these thoughts and practises and a sense of excitement at seeing family and friends that I leave.
Post elections. It should be interesting. That is one thing about Israel I can say for sure. It is never not interesting.
Today my sister sent me an article by David Grossman. He is so articulate, intelligent, and sensitive. What struck me in particular, is that these are the same conclusions I have come to over the last few years, especially since our last election.
I paraphrase:
"There are moments in the life of a nation, or an individual, where one asks oneself - "how is this possible?" "How did this happen?" It is the same sense of horror and awe we have when there is a tsunami, or flood, or earthquake. Acts of nature. Possibly there are explanations, but at this moment we have none and we have to confront the reality of what has happened and come to terms with it. We cannot control these things, what we can do is decide on our own course of action.
Every day one must ensure that one does not succumb to racism, power, narrow mindedness, exploitation and one must continue to believe, maybe with the innocence of a child, that there is hope for peace, and equality, and justice between nations. If my government or elected officials do not believe in, or practise these principles, I will continue to do so, and I shall practise them in my own small way."
(with apologies to David Grossman whose article I have translated and summarised)
So it is with these thoughts and practises and a sense of excitement at seeing family and friends that I leave.
Monday, March 18, 2019
The Aftermath
Hopefully the end of this horrendous saga.
5 dead mice. Not 3 blind mice. 5 dead mice.
10 days of no droppings, no mice pee, no sounds of traps snapping shut.
However, I am not letting up my guard, not for one second.
I felt close to the edge of a psychotic break. My nerves are slowly settling down, or whatever it is nerves do, but just one little cumin seed poop could send me hurtling over the abyss.
I know now not to waste any money on promises of peppermint oil (snake oil in disguise?) sonic sounds, blue lights. Lethal, certain, and swift death comes via deadly traps. Merciless, that is me.
And, on a different note, qe have been blessed with a full week of sun - quite glorious. The air sparkles, freshly rinsed and clean. Tulips in the garden, lilies, orange poppies dancing in the breeze, and the sounds of sneezes and bird song fill the space around.
Here is my haiku to spring
carpets of blossoms
warm rays feathery carress
first hints of a sneeze
My first home was a cottage in Rockridge. I decided on it because, amongst other things, it reminded me of my room on the kibbutz. Right outside my bedroom window was an olive tree. In the spring lovely yellow flowers appeared. Also, in the spring, I began to sneeze and splutter and cough. My eyes watered. I went for allergy testing and discovered that I am allergic to the blossoms of olive trees!!! Who would have thunk.
Every single year since I arrived in California an article appears in The Chronicle in March. Here is a synopsis:
This year allergy season is exceptionally bad in the Bay Area because of:
the drought
too many rains
the fires
the winds which trap the pollen inland
whatever it may be, every spring is AWAYS the worst it has ever been
5 dead mice. Not 3 blind mice. 5 dead mice.
10 days of no droppings, no mice pee, no sounds of traps snapping shut.
However, I am not letting up my guard, not for one second.
I felt close to the edge of a psychotic break. My nerves are slowly settling down, or whatever it is nerves do, but just one little cumin seed poop could send me hurtling over the abyss.
I know now not to waste any money on promises of peppermint oil (snake oil in disguise?) sonic sounds, blue lights. Lethal, certain, and swift death comes via deadly traps. Merciless, that is me.
And, on a different note, qe have been blessed with a full week of sun - quite glorious. The air sparkles, freshly rinsed and clean. Tulips in the garden, lilies, orange poppies dancing in the breeze, and the sounds of sneezes and bird song fill the space around.
Here is my haiku to spring
carpets of blossoms
warm rays feathery carress
first hints of a sneeze
My first home was a cottage in Rockridge. I decided on it because, amongst other things, it reminded me of my room on the kibbutz. Right outside my bedroom window was an olive tree. In the spring lovely yellow flowers appeared. Also, in the spring, I began to sneeze and splutter and cough. My eyes watered. I went for allergy testing and discovered that I am allergic to the blossoms of olive trees!!! Who would have thunk.
Every single year since I arrived in California an article appears in The Chronicle in March. Here is a synopsis:
This year allergy season is exceptionally bad in the Bay Area because of:
the drought
too many rains
the fires
the winds which trap the pollen inland
whatever it may be, every spring is AWAYS the worst it has ever been
Friday, March 1, 2019
Major Freak Out
Oh Goodness, two mice dead - how many to go.
I feel just awful. After 6 weeks of sonic devices and humane traps and absolutely no outcome, I invested in a couple of inhumane traps. After a few nights of droppings around the traps I was about to give up and get rid of all of them. I mistakenly left one out that same night, and as I was falling asleep - whup, a lethal chop. I did not go to check on anything, I knew what it was and couldn't face it. The next morning I peeked between my fingers and yes - saw it all. Paper bags, rubber gloves, dry heaves, heavy waves of guilt and nausea overcame me, and the thing landed in the garbaage. Now I have been wracked with guilt at taking a life, and no one is able to reassure me. Yesterday I was conducting a skype consultation at 8.00 a.m. when, out of the corner of my eye a mouse ran into my study. Sooooo, consultation with landlords, more money spent on traps, both lethal and 'humane' - traps set and early this morning - another one. Goodness knows how many there are. I am mostly allergic to cats and never know how allergic I am until I spend some time with them!
It has been pouring with rain and water has been coming into my bedroom. Ants are everywhere, I kind of feel like I am in a house of horrors. As I have written about before, I do not peacefully coexist with all of God's little creatures. I know on the evolutionary scale mice and ants are fairly mild, but obviously in my limbic system the fight or flight reaction is activated - I am no longer dealing with large predatory animals, but for me these smaller versions are not much different.
I feel just awful. After 6 weeks of sonic devices and humane traps and absolutely no outcome, I invested in a couple of inhumane traps. After a few nights of droppings around the traps I was about to give up and get rid of all of them. I mistakenly left one out that same night, and as I was falling asleep - whup, a lethal chop. I did not go to check on anything, I knew what it was and couldn't face it. The next morning I peeked between my fingers and yes - saw it all. Paper bags, rubber gloves, dry heaves, heavy waves of guilt and nausea overcame me, and the thing landed in the garbaage. Now I have been wracked with guilt at taking a life, and no one is able to reassure me. Yesterday I was conducting a skype consultation at 8.00 a.m. when, out of the corner of my eye a mouse ran into my study. Sooooo, consultation with landlords, more money spent on traps, both lethal and 'humane' - traps set and early this morning - another one. Goodness knows how many there are. I am mostly allergic to cats and never know how allergic I am until I spend some time with them!
It has been pouring with rain and water has been coming into my bedroom. Ants are everywhere, I kind of feel like I am in a house of horrors. As I have written about before, I do not peacefully coexist with all of God's little creatures. I know on the evolutionary scale mice and ants are fairly mild, but obviously in my limbic system the fight or flight reaction is activated - I am no longer dealing with large predatory animals, but for me these smaller versions are not much different.
Wednesday, February 6, 2019
A Mouse?
I am also amazed by how my mind can trick me into conjuring up things which have no basis in the evidence before my eyes.
I live in the downstairs apartment of a house halfway up a hill. It is surrounded by nature - quite lovely. A drought resistant garden, boasting succulents and lavendar bushes. A bamboo hedge on the kitchen side, and on the living room side a hibiscus tree, shrubs, herbs, and succulents. In summer I sit outside to admire the setting of the sun as it drops behind Mt. Tamalpais. Stripes of crimson, fuschia, orange, and deep gold shimmer on the bay. On the other side I sit on the patio and contemplate the humming birds flitting in and out of the hibiscus tree.
My microwave sits on a shelf near a water closet. In the space between are wooden chopping boards and a wooden tray. One evening when I moved the boards to take out the tray I saw cumin seed in the corner, next to the water closet. I do use cumin seed quite often, but hadn't used it recently. Also, there is no reason on earth that I would spread it in a corner. But that is what I saw, so I cleaned the shelf and thought no more about this. A couple of nights later, the same thing. Hmm, I thought, interesting how the cumin seed must cling to the chopping boards and succumb to the laws of gravity overnight. Again, I cleaned them up, and carried on with this ritual almost every morning. Always more cumin seeds, and I hadn't used them the night before. Fascinating.
My landlords returned from one of their exotic vacations, and I was no longer alone. This allowed me to consider the fact that these were probably not cumin seeds.
I emailed an SOS and down came the landlord to check. I showed him the seeds and he confirmed my buried suspicion - mouse droppings. Mice freak me out - they feel to me like creatures of the underworld, deeply disturbing. I went off to ACE Hardware and invested in a couple of humane traps. My landlords assured me they would take the trapped m;ouse away and let him go in a field far away.
According to instructions I placed a blob of organic crunchy peanut butter in the trap. (The instructions did not call for organic peanut butter, but I was quite pleased with my largesse.) The next morning i checked the trap; droppings, no mouse. And the next morning. The morning after that, neither droppings nor mouse. The rains had stopped so I presumed the mouse had left for outside. After a week of neither droppings nor mouse I replaced the boards. The next morning, droppings, but no mouse.
I am bamboozled. Does anyone know why a mouse (or mice) favor wooden boards? I am not sure if I can cohabit with this creature. Where is the Pied Piper when I need him.
Advice - help
I live in the downstairs apartment of a house halfway up a hill. It is surrounded by nature - quite lovely. A drought resistant garden, boasting succulents and lavendar bushes. A bamboo hedge on the kitchen side, and on the living room side a hibiscus tree, shrubs, herbs, and succulents. In summer I sit outside to admire the setting of the sun as it drops behind Mt. Tamalpais. Stripes of crimson, fuschia, orange, and deep gold shimmer on the bay. On the other side I sit on the patio and contemplate the humming birds flitting in and out of the hibiscus tree.
My microwave sits on a shelf near a water closet. In the space between are wooden chopping boards and a wooden tray. One evening when I moved the boards to take out the tray I saw cumin seed in the corner, next to the water closet. I do use cumin seed quite often, but hadn't used it recently. Also, there is no reason on earth that I would spread it in a corner. But that is what I saw, so I cleaned the shelf and thought no more about this. A couple of nights later, the same thing. Hmm, I thought, interesting how the cumin seed must cling to the chopping boards and succumb to the laws of gravity overnight. Again, I cleaned them up, and carried on with this ritual almost every morning. Always more cumin seeds, and I hadn't used them the night before. Fascinating.
My landlords returned from one of their exotic vacations, and I was no longer alone. This allowed me to consider the fact that these were probably not cumin seeds.
I emailed an SOS and down came the landlord to check. I showed him the seeds and he confirmed my buried suspicion - mouse droppings. Mice freak me out - they feel to me like creatures of the underworld, deeply disturbing. I went off to ACE Hardware and invested in a couple of humane traps. My landlords assured me they would take the trapped m;ouse away and let him go in a field far away.
According to instructions I placed a blob of organic crunchy peanut butter in the trap. (The instructions did not call for organic peanut butter, but I was quite pleased with my largesse.) The next morning i checked the trap; droppings, no mouse. And the next morning. The morning after that, neither droppings nor mouse. The rains had stopped so I presumed the mouse had left for outside. After a week of neither droppings nor mouse I replaced the boards. The next morning, droppings, but no mouse.
I am bamboozled. Does anyone know why a mouse (or mice) favor wooden boards? I am not sure if I can cohabit with this creature. Where is the Pied Piper when I need him.
Advice - help
Friday, February 1, 2019
As we are now
And then there is the one about the middle aged Jewish man who would like to live forever. He asks his Rabbi if he can give him the secret to eternal life. The Rabbi thinks for a while, scratches his beard and looks at the earnest man seated in front of him.
"Yes," says the Rabbi. "Go home and read the news everyday."
The man looks at the Rabbi with raised eyebrows. "OK," he says, "I'll do that, but how will this help me live forever?"
Clearing his throat the Rabbi says, "it will cure you of your desire to live forever."
I have no desire to live forever. What I would like is to live a somewhat peaceful life, free of constant negativity and concern. This desire is increasingly difficult.
I have stopped listening to the constant bombardment of news items. I have never had alerts on my phone. I don't watch talk shows with their endless discussions of who said what, and what the latest polls indicate.
When reading the newspapers (which I still do) I try to look for small glimmers of hope. The Monarch butterflies have returned to Mexico in their hundreds of thousands. First I read this in the paper, and then, the same day, listened to an interview with an environmental scientist. Yes, they have returned this year, but no, in fact it is not a glimmer of hope - and then he went on and on about the degradation of the environment, the pesticides, the fact that although concerned citizens in the US and Canada are growing milkweed it is not nourishing like it used to be ..... lets not be overjoyed at this bountiful return this year.
Then, later the same day a talk on the coral reefs. Oh my goodness - by the year 2050 there will no longer be coral reefs, no species of fish, no this, no that - all caused by climate change ....
I have beautiful vivid recollections of snorkeling in he reefs in the Sinai desert - a surreal and glorious insane artist's rendition ...
The elephants, the giraffe ........
And this all in one day of not really listening with attention.
Oh, test tube fetuses - how could I forget that tidbit!
This isn't even broaching the ghastly political climate - Government shutdowns, an insane President raving about walls and drugs and terrorists, and fake news, and how scientists don't know what they are talking about ......
I work a couple of days a week in a really lovely woman-owned boutique surrounded by luxurious textiles, hand blocked fabrics, unique garments which are not made in a sweatshop. I go to the gym, and to art classes. I participate in a writing group, and an enneagram group. All these activities enrich my life. And yet, yesterday after yoga I sat on the bench putting on shoes after class. Someone I haven't seen in years sits next to me and groans as he bends his leg to put on his shoes. I jokingly commented on how our bodies are now protesting smaller amounts of exercise.
"Courage," he says to me, "it is only going to get worse."
Today at the gym I met two women I haven't seen in a while.
"How are you," "good" we all reply, then comes the qualifications. "As good as can be expected with this ......... and on we all go about all the 'unbelievable' that is believably happening.
So this is a brief summary of my life as it is!
And here is my latest piece, in oils. It is from a photo I took in Carson City in summer of 2017.
"Yes," says the Rabbi. "Go home and read the news everyday."
The man looks at the Rabbi with raised eyebrows. "OK," he says, "I'll do that, but how will this help me live forever?"
Clearing his throat the Rabbi says, "it will cure you of your desire to live forever."
I have no desire to live forever. What I would like is to live a somewhat peaceful life, free of constant negativity and concern. This desire is increasingly difficult.
I have stopped listening to the constant bombardment of news items. I have never had alerts on my phone. I don't watch talk shows with their endless discussions of who said what, and what the latest polls indicate.
When reading the newspapers (which I still do) I try to look for small glimmers of hope. The Monarch butterflies have returned to Mexico in their hundreds of thousands. First I read this in the paper, and then, the same day, listened to an interview with an environmental scientist. Yes, they have returned this year, but no, in fact it is not a glimmer of hope - and then he went on and on about the degradation of the environment, the pesticides, the fact that although concerned citizens in the US and Canada are growing milkweed it is not nourishing like it used to be ..... lets not be overjoyed at this bountiful return this year.
Then, later the same day a talk on the coral reefs. Oh my goodness - by the year 2050 there will no longer be coral reefs, no species of fish, no this, no that - all caused by climate change ....
I have beautiful vivid recollections of snorkeling in he reefs in the Sinai desert - a surreal and glorious insane artist's rendition ...
The elephants, the giraffe ........
And this all in one day of not really listening with attention.
Oh, test tube fetuses - how could I forget that tidbit!
This isn't even broaching the ghastly political climate - Government shutdowns, an insane President raving about walls and drugs and terrorists, and fake news, and how scientists don't know what they are talking about ......
I work a couple of days a week in a really lovely woman-owned boutique surrounded by luxurious textiles, hand blocked fabrics, unique garments which are not made in a sweatshop. I go to the gym, and to art classes. I participate in a writing group, and an enneagram group. All these activities enrich my life. And yet, yesterday after yoga I sat on the bench putting on shoes after class. Someone I haven't seen in years sits next to me and groans as he bends his leg to put on his shoes. I jokingly commented on how our bodies are now protesting smaller amounts of exercise.
"Courage," he says to me, "it is only going to get worse."
Today at the gym I met two women I haven't seen in a while.
"How are you," "good" we all reply, then comes the qualifications. "As good as can be expected with this ......... and on we all go about all the 'unbelievable' that is believably happening.
So this is a brief summary of my life as it is!
And here is my latest piece, in oils. It is from a photo I took in Carson City in summer of 2017.
Saturday, December 22, 2018
Photos
OK - here are some photos, not in particular order.
The top one is an oil painting I did from a photo I took while in Seattle on the ferry to Victoria
The next two are quite self-evident. Ireland
That adorable child is the latest addition to the family
The skull is my latest painting, a meditation on death. The title is:
"Underneath we are all alike."
Again, love and light
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