I have been either avoiding, or unable - I am not sure which, to write a post.
Today I sat in the events hall and listened to 'music from around the world,' starting with klezmer from eastern europe. The melodies brought tears to my eyes. I felt a deep sadness. Then I realized that this has been my main feeling since the 'ceasefire' of the war within a war.
The first night I could resume my zoom yoga with my teacher from California without needing to head for the shelter, the class ended, as it always does, with final relaxation. I began to sob uncontrollably, and remained, prone, on my carpet, crying and exhausted, drained. The exhaustion has only just begun to dissipate, when, I forget which night, Wednesday or Thursday, I was deep in a dream when I was rudely awoken by the horrible rattlesnake warning alarm. It felt like part of the dream, a nightmare - I sat up and grabbed my phone - yes, a missile is on its way. I stumbled out of bed, rang my neighbour's buzzer and went off to the shelter. This time it was the Houthis. Of course i couldn't get back to sleep afterward, just lay on my bed in a kind of numb trance. Numb and sad, so very very sad. For all of us, for everyone. Sad for all the young men being killed unnecessarily. Sad for their families and friends, for us. Sad for the people of Gaza - how can they be? - without homes, without shelters, food, water? Their families being killed. Sad for the Palestinians beaten to death by the settlers in the West Bank. Sad for the hostages and their families - how much longer can they endure this? Sad for the people in Lebanon, and Iran. Sad at how helpless we are to end this horror. Sad for the destruction and degradation. How and when will this ever end? 645 days
