Shift

 I often find that I experience certain inner events or feelings that I cannot express in words. I feel that words establish boundaries and limits on my inner experience.  So I cannot neither vocalise nor write about them. With that understanding, I write the following events.

As I wrote in the previous entry, I decided to the kibbutz for Yom Kipur.  The day before I was due to arrive, my friend phoned to ask what time I would be getting there.  She also said, "bring your bathing suit."

"What pools are open on Yom Kipur?" I asked.

"The pool on the kibbutz, of course" she replied.

With those words I experienced a kind of deep and hitherto unexpressed inner movement.  

She had not been in the country on that Yom Kipur.  She was traveling around America.  Those of us on the kibbutz had gone to the swimming pool on the Yom Kipur of October 6th 1973.   At 2.00 p.m.  exactly, two Mirages screeched overhead, leaving long white tails in the clear blue sky.  We all commented on how odd this was on Yom Kipur.  A day of no radio, no news, no transport, no cars, a quiet day.  And then, just after the planes, the father of the friend who wasn't there rode toward us on his bicycle, his transistor radio in his hand.  He said to us "there is a war, Israel has been attacked from all sides, go to your rooms."  And as one body we rose and went to our room (mine and Rafi) because everyone knew where he was in the army, in the Sinai desert.  We taped the windows and put buckets of sand inside the small bathroom, and then we went to the dining room to bring back eggs, milk, and cheese, so we could make a cheese cake.

And last week, when she suggested we go to the pool,  I suddenly felt something move inside of me. Something shifted and moved, and lifted, as if on wings that spread open and upward.  I would go to the pool, and then, later in the day, just before Neilah, the closing of the gates, I would go to the cemetery to say goodbye, finally, and let us both fly free.

And so I did just that.

Sunday/Rosh Hashana

 Firstly, to everyone, a sweet and fulfilling new year.

This card is from a painting I did.  I took a photo of the painting and edited it to make this card.  Once I completed the painting I obliterated it with a few coats of gesso, so that I can reuse the board.  

Today is the second day of Rosh Hashana.  The only holiday in Israel that is celebrated for two days, and because the first day was Saturday, today is Sunday so it feels like a normal weekend (normal, that is, for those of us who remember having two day weekends.)

And, as with everything this past year, it wasn't quite the Rosh Hashana we had planned for the family - but I apologise as I cannot go into details.  However, we did the best we could to mark the new year.

And, of course, next weekend is Yom Kipur. It is 50 years since The Yom Kipur War - the War which changed my life, and the lives of countless people, forever.  I have blogged about this incessantly over the years. Because it is 50 years, the TV stations are showing endless discussions and clippings of the war.  There are interviews with the commanders and generals still alive, and the soldiers who survived.  Endless discussions about the mistakes that were made.  The film about Golda is now on the circuit. I am not watching anything on TV, nor will I see Golda.  I will go to the kibbutz for Yom Kipur. 

May this year 5784 bring a ray of hope to all the people on this planet, and to our beloved planet itself.

Something Very Strange

 Every now and then I look at the stats on my blog - I can see how many people have viewed it, and the number of comments (very rare).  Over the past couple of months, if these stats are to be believed, which of course they obviously aren't, it would appear that thousands of people have read my posts.  I cannot see in which countries or areas these people live, and as there are no more comments than usual, I find it impossible to believe.  Something must be wrong with the set up, but I haven't attempted to change anything on the settings - I wouldn't dare!!!!!!  I am technologically challenged.

At the end of June I lost a large amount of files on my computer that I had neatly filed into appropriate boxes which I had opened over the years.  I just couldn't find anything.  All empty, gone ---- into the ether. I do have a back up time machine, and everyone assured me it should be there. Those who know about these things attempted to help, with zooms, remote viewings, screen sharings. Nothing, nader - 6 weeks now of trying and nothing has been restored. I went through all the stages of grief; horror, denial, shock, anger, bargaining, sadness, self anger and guilt (these are MY stages, not necessarily those of Elizabeth Kubler Ross) despair, and although not acceptance, resignation.

When I moved to Israel I did not bring any electrical appliances because the electrical requirements here are different.  Because of the above terrible loss which apparently thousands of people are reading about, and my state of resignation, I decided to buy a printer.  The reason being that I will revert to old time storage of papers and real - not virtual files.

This week I bought a printer and yesterday managed to install it and connect it to my wi fi.  Now I know many readers will look at this and think - so what, anyone can do that.  I can assure you, NOT anyone can and I feel very proud of myself.

And from now on all important information will be printed out and filed away.  Of course it will also be on my computer.  I only hope that somehow I can keep hold of these records.